Sometimes

I wonder if life would ever get better.

sometimes i wonder,

if things will straighten out on its own.

Sometimes i wonder,

"will i be single forever?"

sometimes i catch myself,

daydreaming about "the one"

but,

i realize,

that life isnt decided by chance

i realize,

that i must put my life in God's hands

the world cant give me what God can

yeah the world may be satisfying to my body right now

but,

what i want is to be in the presence of God all the time.

and im willing to give everything and anything for it.

Old Flames

Rekindled?

I really hate what my mind does to me

all this confusion

and on top of that

my maxed out "korean drama" family issues.

God i asked for trials and tribulations but this is overkill..

Its time for an update

i havent written in this thing in a while....

but

its about time i should write in this.

unfortunately

things havent been so smooth these days.

walking in a haze as if i was in a daze

days and days go by

and

i just feel like a mouse in a maze

looking for my food.

food which is the answer to what i should do

my thoughts have been choppy like this poem

i havent been able to think clearly and..

i cant even complete my thoughts

thinking over myself as if mind is arguing with itself.

but

i do know that i have my friends though

and i have God.

aigoo.

Fix You

When you try your best but you don't succeed 
When you get what you want but not what you need 
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep 
Stuck in reverse  
And the tears come streaming down your face 
When you lose something you can't replace 
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?  
Lights will guide you home 
And ignite your bones 
And I will try to fix you  
And high up above or down below 
When you're too in love to let it go 
But if you never try you'll never know 
Just what you're worth  
Lights will guide you home 
And ignite your bones 
And I will try to fix you  
Tears stream down your face 
When you lose something you cannot replace 
Tears stream down your face and I  
Tears stream down your face 
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes 
Tears stream down your face And I  
Lights will guide you home 
And ignite your bones 
And I will try to fix you 

Ive got the hots for you

Ive got the hots for you,

because i never wanna let you go.

Ive got the hots for you,

i want the whole wide world to know.

Ive got the hots for you,

I cant get any sleep at night.

Ive got the hots for you,

i wanna hold and squeeze you tight.

love

is kind, love is patient, and it doesnt boast.

right now, i have a hard time believing that.

to me, love hurts; its a numbing pain.

to me, ive been waiting, but im losing my patience for this love to come

and when i see love shared by two people,

sometimes,

honestly,

i covet that.

i want what that couple has.

i want to feel that intimate love from another.

its been so long that even friendly gestures

feels weird just because it never happens in my life.

ugh.

im horrible at life.

i wish someone could take away my stress.

i wish someone could take away my pain.

i wish someone was there with me.

i wish..none of this ever happened.

i feel numb

numb to the hurtful things people say

numb to the things i say

as if i cannot feel anymore

to the point where i can no longer feel

pain, anguish, anxiety, happiness, love.

but the numbness itself is my pain

it strikes at my heart and numbs my body.

and like a drug my body longs for it

but my mind dreads it

because my body cannot handle the pain

yet the numbness hurts my mind

its a vicious cycle that i cannot escape.

i am a prisoner of my own addiction.

frustration

like puzzle pieces, you are the only one who can complete me.

you are the only one for me

there arent enough words in this language to describe my love for you

because your love makes me s-s-studder

when i see you my legs turn to jello and i find myself tripping for you

id do anything for you.

if only you felt the same way about me..

if you only knew.

if you could know what i feel

you would know how much my soul longs for you

you could feel how my body aches when we are apart

you would know how my heart longs for yours

if you could hear what i hear

you would know how your voice serenades my mind

how your voice calms me

how your voice untangles all the knots in my shoulders.

if you could feel what i feel

you would know how much i care for you

how much i want you and me to become one

one plus one equals one in my world

but the math never seems to work

because to you one plus one still equals two.